


wildfire

by honeycore



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, please jonny sims don't give me a sad ending i am begging you, this is entirely self indulgent, tma season 5 makes me Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25560736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeycore/pseuds/honeycore
Summary: Martin would follow Jonathan Sims to the end of the earth, and he has. For so, so long.Or, ruminations on the state of things.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	wildfire

**Author's Note:**

> hello i have not written fic in three years so idk how this is, but i hope you like it!

They met on the road to the sun, Martin likes to think, when dawn painted the sky with swirling colours, and the stars disappeared into their next life. It's poetic and vile and so, _so_ wrong at a time like this, but these days he revels in the pure bliss of those glorified memories. There wasn't much sunlight in the Archives, but he had savoured every second in the soft heat with Jonathan Sims. He would give anything to do it again.

(But there is no sun here, only the All-Seeing, the Eye that taunts their every step-)

They hold hands as they walk. Jon's hand is warm and gentle and soothing, so much so that it makes Martin want to vomit or cry or scream or all three. The Eye must simply be taunting him to allow such comforts. What had _he_ done to deserve this? To be one of the only humans allowed to roam freely. The thought disgusts him as he thinks of the others - Daisy and Basira and Melanie and Georgie and everyone else. And everyone else; _children and families and old and young and soft and gentle and pure and loving and loved and innocent and innocent and innocent-_

And yet here he is. Martin Blackwood - abandoned by his father, hated by his mother, estranged from every relationship he's ever made, useless and vile and so, _so_ unworthy. Because he fell in love with the monster at the end of the book. And the monster fell in love with him.

He takes his hand out of Jon's grasp. Jon looks at him with a soft murmur of surprise but keeps pace, the sound of each step like the beating of a drum. His heart fragments every time he hears that voice; his immediate instinct is to slip his hand back in Jon's, longing for that warm embrace, but he doesn't. And so they keep walking.

Jonathan Sims. The Archivist. The Archive. The World-Ender, Apocalypse-Bringer. It's not his fault, Martin knows, but it's still so hard to convince himself, to stop that frustration. It's like a mantra now-

_It's not his fault it's not his fault it's not his fault-_

And he believes it. He reaches out for Jon's hand again and relishes in that gentle grasp.

//

There is no such thing as sleep in this place, no need for it. In a dimension of fear, sleep exists as the escape from all your horrors, and what fun is that? 

So instead of sleeping, Martin rests his head on Jon's lap and imagines. It's a bad idea. The memories come flooding back worse than ever and he lets out a small gasp, trying to hold in that monumental sadness that suddenly overcomes him. Jon notices and pats his head reassuringly, running his hands through Martin's messy hair. 

"It's okay," he murmurs. "We're going to fix this. I promise." The words are nearly inaudible.

Martin loves the feeling of Jon's hand resting on his head, but it doesn't stop the memories, the way things were before. He remembers those tapes Jon had been listening to, the ones of the two of them and Sasha and Tim back when everything seemed so normal. The unstoppable archival team, fighting against mountains of statements and their incredibly messy love lives. _Tim and Sasha got the better of it,_ he thinks briefly. Then he instantly feels guilty about even considering that when they're _dead_ , they're both dead and he's alive. They never deserved to die. Not Sasha, who did everything in her power to make the Archives a beautiful place, who cared so much about everyone and got nothing in return. And not Tim, who had suffered so much already, only to sacrifice himself for absolutely _nothing._ It isn't fair. It's never been fair. And it makes him so, so angry.

So he cries, and Jon lets him.

// 

If the sun had been a candle, Jonathan Sims would be a wildfire.

Everything about him amazed Martin. He'd never stopped fighting, not even once, not even when the world was crumbling to bits around him. He was the only reason Martin never stopped fighting. He was the _reason._ Jon had done everything for him. He'd been given a home, a family, all the safety and love and beauty he'd never been given in his old life, even while he spent his time dodging the blows of cosmic fear entities. Jon had pulled him out of the Lonely, _twice_ now, and saved him from countless other fears. 

Those last two weeks in Scotland had been a bliss he's never experienced before. There, he had Jon all to himself for the very first time - no Dread Powers looming over them (or at least, less so than before) and no Elias Bouchard- Jonah Magnus, whatever that monster was - stopping them from being happy. It had just been the two of them and nothing in between.

Their love hadn't been the type of voracious love he'd seen in movies. He'd never liked that kind of love anyways - it was too violent, too angry. With Jon, everything was soft and gentle and peaceful. They'd shared kisses and cuddles and a bed and nothing more, and Martin had been entirely fine with that. 

In love, Jonathan Sims is not a wildfire, but the crackling fire in a brick fireplace, calm and relaxing. In love, Jonathan Sims is home.

But here, he is the wildfire. He ravages across continents, setting everything alight, so much of his actions fueled purely by rage. Martin doesn't disagree with that. He finds adoration in watching Jon set the fires, burn those that had hurt him, make them feel all the pain he's had to feel. Revenge is sweeter than ever before. And still through it all he cares, at least a little - Martin doesn't blame him for the Fairchild incident. Jon always had cared too much, but then again so had Martin, and together they were typically such a glaring fuel of empathy that he can't believe they've both survived this long.

Sometimes that rage scares Martin, though. Jon holds so much raw power, that beautiful energy coursing through his veins, that sometimes it feels like he could end the world all over again. The funny thing is, Martin knows he _would,_ but only for one reason. One person.

Usually when a lover would end the world for you it's more metaphorical than anything, something Martin would write about in one of his poems. The fact that Jonathan could and would end the world for one Martin Blackwood is still something he can't quite fathom. So he holds Jon tightly when they stop for their breaks, never lets go of his hand while they walk, and in the few romantic moments they get, he kisses him with dry, cracked lips without even caring. He loves him as fiercely as possible, just to remind him that they would both end the world for each other, no matter what.

//

There's a part of Martin that doesn't want them to end this apocalypse. Not because he _likes_ this new world, but because he's afraid. If there is some way to end this, to destroy Jonah Magnus and his skewed dream for the world, then he can only imagine destruction. He can only imagine Jon, sacrificing himself to save the whole stupid planet, to save Martin and Daisy and Basira and everyone he's ever cared about. Because that's just what Jonathan Sims would do.

But he can't imagine them separated, not at this point. After everything they've been through. Martin would follow Jon to the end of the earth, and he has. For so, so long. He can't stop now. 

So he won't, he resolves. If this must come to an end somehow, then he won't let Jon die. He won't let either of them die. They're going to make it out, and be okay. They'll have their friends back and they'll go on dates and cuddle while watching movies and everything Martin's ever dreamed of doing with him. And they'll go live out the rest of their sappy lives in a cottage in fucking Scotland or somewhere, he doesn't know, but it doesn't matter. Anywhere with Jon was home. Jon _was_ his home. And he would never leave him behind.

**Author's Note:**

> this is self-indulgent as stated and reveals all my fears about the s5 finale


End file.
